


The limit does not exist

by Daisyflo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Mean girls Au, Multi, Thirst Order, but she's a badass, hux is regina george, on wednesdays they wear plaid, rey is cady, rey is naive, she's so fetch, the thirsties, this fic is stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-08-04 19:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyflo/pseuds/Daisyflo
Summary: On Wednesdays, they wear plaid.





	1. The new girl

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic I wasn't supposed to write, but Mean Girls is so fetch, I couldn't resist!

 

“Well, welcome Reh!”

“It’s pronounced Rey, actually. Like a ray.”

After only one hour spent in this new high school, Rey had already heard her name mispronounced twice: once by the education adviser, and now by her math teacher in a room full of students that stared at her with obvious disinterest.

The lack of reactions was rather surprising, not to say disappointing. After spending ten full minutes talking about her life in Africa, she would’ve expected a few questions –maybe even a smile- to which she would happily have answered. Of course, her parents had warned her: Americans, especially teenagers, were highly different from the people she’d known for years. Of all the things she missed about Jakku, she mostly missed the lemurs. With such adorable faces, you wouldn’t expect these fluffy things to make such weird noises- but despite their awkwardness, they’d never failed to make her laugh even on a bad day.   Sure, she’d had many friends in the village and not one had ever made her feel anything else than welcome, but she’d grown up surrounded by animals to such an extent that walking in paved streets, where not a single colorful bird or armadillo was to be seen, made her feel empty.

Growing up with two zoologists probably had something to do with it. Since Jyn and Cassian Andor had adopted her at the age of five, the adventurous couple hadn’t stopped bringing her on each of their safari they planned, teaching her more about the animal kingdom than she would ever had learned about in a regular class in a regular school. Sure, she couldn’t name a single movie from the past ten years or cross the street without being nearly hit by an insanely fast bus, but she’d received an education she was proud of.

“I have a question.”

The voice, shy but clearly audible among the deadly silence, dragged her out of her daydream. A nervous smile on her lips, Rey frantically nodded, ready to talk about the wonders of the country she’d lived in for no less than twelve years.

“If you’re from Africa… why are you white?” A few giggles broke out around the boy. He nervously bit his lips, realizing the stupidity of his question.

“Oh my god Mitaka, you can’t just ask people why they’re white!” a tall, blonde girl exclaimed next to him as she rolled her eyes.

After silently asking the teacher if she could leave the board, Rey quickly made her way to the only empty desk and sunk into her chair, praying for the hour to pass quickly.

 

When finally, a bell echoed in the speaker she hadn’t noticed, the whole class stood up in the same movement. In the blink of an eye, the room was empty. Naively, she risked a glance into the hallway to discover what looked surprisingly very similar to a jungle. Before she got a chance to say goodbye to her teacher, one of her arms passed the doorway and, a few seconds later, she found herself swept up in to a tide of rushing students.

Going with the flow, she tried not to let the crowd stamp on her as she held her bag close to her chest, terrified by the idea of someone stealing one of her books. Looking at the large corridor invaded by disruptive students, Rey remembered the first time she’d met marmosets: as she read under the giant tree planted in the middle of the village, she felt her hat leave her head. A snicker echoed above her, betraying the presence of a dozen monkeys that were about to also steal her book and tear it into pieces, indifferent to her angry shouts.

But if the corridor was a marmoset’s nest, the cafeteria appeared to be just the same as the watering hole she’d visited more than once. Scattered around what seemed to be a self-serve buffet, an insane number of students were slumped on bright yellow tables, grouped in what seemed to be a voluntarily yet hierarchical organization. After a brief passage to the buffet (where she grabbed a plate of what she identified as fries) she took the first step of what appeared to be a long, instructive walk.

Not only were the tables differentiated by the style of the people sitting around it, but they all carried unique atmospheres that weren’t easy to decipher or understand. When, finally, she reached the end of the room, Rey realized that these tables were also not easy to access. In the space of a few minutes, she’d been rejected by no less than six tables, including one where she was pretty sure she’d seen someone eat playdough.

“Hey! You’re the new girl, right?”

Turning in search of the source of the voice, she felt a wave of relief brush her as she locked eyes with a beaming boy her age she recognized as the one she’d sat next to earlier in class. Timidly, she confirmed with a nod.

“Sit with us,” he offered with brief glance to the empty chair in front of him, “there’s always room here.”

Not needing to be told twice, Rey nodded a second time and quickly sat in the offered seat lest someone claim it before her. In less than a morning, this place had awakened her most primitive instincts, pushing her to act like a clumsy marsupial who defended the little territory he’d earned by the sweat of his brows.

“I’m Finn,” the boy hasted to add before nonchalantly pointing at the girl sitting next to him. “And this is Rose.”

“Finally, another girl!” Rose said with enthusiasm, sending another wave of warmth to Rey’s heart.

Before she had the chance to introduce herself for the third time that day, Rey heard the metallic sound of a tray slapping on the surface of the table and a chair pulling up next to her, soon followed by a deep sigh.

“And this is Poe,” Finn announced with an ounce of amusement in his voice. “Poe, be nice, it’s her first time going to school.”

Touched by the fact that the boy had obviously not only listened to her speech but also memorized what she’d said, Rey almost forgot to turn her head to the newcomer, who was already examining her.

“First time in school? That’s unusual,” Poe said with a smirk. “People are usually way smaller on their first day. Look at Rose.”

A small chuckle escaped him, soon joined by a gasp of indignation from Rose who, despite her obvious desire to giggle, threw a small pack of tissues that crushed on his forehead.

“Don’t let him think he’s funny, he’s already way too proud of himself,” the girl explained as she narrowed her eyes in a threat to Poe, who’d already grabbed a few fries from Rey’s plate.

“Beginner’s luck, I see!” Poe said. “They didn’t have any left when I- hey!” Stopped mid-gesture by a firm tap on the back of his hand, he released the fries he’d grasped and turned to Finn with a frown, pouting in the most ridiculous way.

After a few more jokes and stolen fries, he finally calmed down and started to ask all the questions Rey had been hoping for an hour ago. Happy to finally feel at ease and welcome, it didn’t take long to laugh along with the small groups who soon made it a point of honor to tell her everything about this world that seemed million lightyears away from what she’d always known. In less than twenty minutes, she knew more about this high school than she knew about her new neighborhood: she absolutely couldn’t move from the seat she’d chosen on her first day even though teachers didn’t assign them, couldn’t make eye contact with anyone for more than five seconds without causing a fight and –Rose insisted on this- couldn’t use the bathroom to actually go to the bathroom.

“Wait,” Rey started, “why wouldn’t I-”

“You don’t want to know,” Finn grimly whispered, shaking his head.

Being one year older than them, Poe considered it his mission to explain the rules of the cafeteria: you couldn’t sit at a table if you hadn’t been invited to, but neither could you _ask_ to join.

“But I can sit at an empty table, right?”

“Oh no, you don’t want to,” the senior retorted with a frown. “That’s social suicide.”

“What if I’m not invited anywhere? Do I join those people on the floor?” Rey asked, completely lost but trying hard to follow all these new rules.

Following her gaze, Poe glanced at the small group of students sitting on the floor in a circle, joyously talking and eating their meals with their hands. Firmly shaking his head, he bit his lip and turned back to her. “Oh no, you can’t join the Hippies.”

“That’s social suicide?” Rey asked tentatively, repeating the words without really understanding what she said.

“Oh no, they’re just way too cool for anyone,” the boy explained as if it was obvious.

A small silence fell on the table, during which the three students seemed to acknowledge Rey’s unease as she realized none of this made sense to her. Giving her an encouraging smile, Rose put her fork down and cleared her throat before Poe could say anything else and leaned over the table, discreetly pointing at the other tables.

“Each table is a group,” she explained patiently as Rey followed her gaze. “The Hippies,” she started with a brief glance at the group Poe has presented earlier, “are one of the coolest.”

“But we’re better, obviously,” Finn interrupted with a smirk.

Rose continued, oblivious to the interruption. “The Artists and the Jocks are the two largest groups, but they’re rivals. Lots of drama.” As if to emphasize her statement, she pointed at the tables threatening to collapse under the many students sitting on them, as loud as if they’d engaged in a noise contest. “You’ve got the Rich Girls just behind them, next to the Militants and the Virgins.”

“You mean everyone isn’t a virgin?” Rey asked in a whisper, her eyes wide.

A few giggles escaped the trio, amused smiles on their faces contrasting with their protective eyes.

“Oh Rey, look around you,” Poe murmured with a grin.

Following his advice, Rey looked over her shoulder and examined the people around them. As she observed them one by one, she began to understand what Poe meant: with the exception of the table Poe had just mentioned, everything in every student’s behavior seemed to be done in order to attract those around them. Low-cut necklines, exaggerated giggles, impromptu quarrels: they were everywhere, louder than necessary and just as ridiculous as they were effective. Quickly looking away from a couple almost making out at the Artists’ table, Rey blinked a few times and turned back to the small group, her eyes even wider.

“Is that allowed?” she breathed, shocked by what she’d just seen.

Another giggle escaped the three friends’ mouths, confirming her thoughts. Unsure about how to approach the topic, she held back from asking any more questions and grabbed a handful of the few fries left in her plate. Unable not to glance one last time at the Virgins table she was sure she wouldn’t be long to join, her eyes stopped on a rather empty table occupied by only three people she hadn’t heard about. “What about them?”

Following her gaze, Poe stopped giggling and cleared his throat, a frown betraying his visible unease at the question. “Oh. The Thirst Order.”

“I thought we’d agreed on calling them The Thirsties?” Rose complained as she grabbed her carton of apple juice.

Shaking his head, Poe rolled his eyes at her comment and turned back to face his own plate, leaving Rey with nothing but even more questions about the mysterious group and the origin of their name.

“They’re the elite,” Finn generously explained in a significantly lower voice. “You don’t want to be their friends, but more importantly, you don’t want to be their enemy.”

“They’re evil,” Rose seconded him with a nod.

Not without an arched eyebrow, Rey discreetly looked at the small group again, her curiosity piqued more than ever.

“Evil takes a human form in Armitage Hux,” Finn continued. “Actually, I’m pretty sure he dyed his hair red just to strengthen the comparison.”

“Poe used to date him,” Rose explained with a nervous smile.

At the mention of his name, Poe rolled his eyes again and finally joined the conversation, all previous trace of mischief absent from his tanned face. “I did. Wouldn’t recommend,” he said with a weak grin.

Almost immediately, Finn’s hand left his fork to rest on Poe’s, an encouraging smile on his face. “At least now you’re back at the Nerds table.”

“I am,” Poe agreed with a smile before leaning on the table to kiss him.

This time, Rey looked away just in time to meet Rose’s amused look. Trying not to make it obvious that she hadn’t suspected these two to be together, she bit her lips and went back to her contemplation of the apparently infamous group. One of them was sitting with her back turned to her, short blonde hair and high heels while the other was-

The other was looking at her. Feeling her cheeks redden at the unexpected eye contact, Rey blinked twice but held his gaze as she began to examine him, oblivious to Rose’s amused smile. Between the blonde girl and him, this so-called Hux looked like a gnome: easily twice her stature, the boy seemed built like a wrestler. Begrudgingly taking her eyes off his arms, she risked a glance at his face where she met his two brown, piercing eyes again, slightly hidden by a few dark locks.

“Who are the two others?” she asked as he looked away.

“Now that’s an interesting question,” Poe smirked as he pulled away from his boyfriend. “The tall girl is Phasma. She may look like she could kill you with a toothpick, but don’t be fooled: she could do it with her bare hands. She doesn’t talk much, but when she does, she makes people cry.”

Mentally making a note to herself to never talk to that girl, Rey examined her before hesitantly glancing back at the tall boy facing her, his face slightly hidden behind dark locks of hair. “And him?”

“That big one?” Poe scoffed. “That’s Ben Solo. He’s totally rich, because his mother is the mayor. He knows everybody’s business, he knows everything about everyone.”

“That’s what his hair is so big,” Rose said in a hushed tone. “It’s full of secrets.”

Risking one last look at him, Rey watched him a little longer, her cheeks gradually warming as a realization hit her.

Maybe Ben Solo was an enemy, but he sure was hot.

 

 

The following days held many other discoveries no one had warned Rey about: haughty looks, prohibition to talk without being invited to, and the apparently famous bathroom pass that caused her many, many misunderstandings. Lucky for her, Poe Rose and Finn kept teaching her everything she didn’t understand as they kept inviting her to their table, their watchful eyes always waiting for her at lunch time. When Friday finally arrived, she was more than ready to greet the weekend and take a break from the popularity contest that high school appeared to be, even if it meant not seeing her new friends for two days.

As the morning passed, it became more and more obvious that something was wrong. Between the sidelong glances and almost imperceptible whistling she could hear behind her in the corridor, she’d started to wonder if she’d forgotten a piece of her outfit, but the many stops to the bathroom’s mirror assured her that nothing was missing: everything from her denim jacket to her skirt was there, perfectly ironed and without a single rip. Feeling the need to ask her friends what she’d done wrong this time, she did her best to ignore the obvious gazes on her as she crossed the corridor leading to the other side of the building when the bell finally rang.

Just as she stepped into the cafeteria, her eyes began to search for what she now considered to be her table. Less than a minute later, she met Finn’s encouraging gaze and felt her face brighten as he joyously waved, beckoning her to join him. Feeling her chest significantly lighten at the idea of finally seeing a familiar face, she started to walk towards him, her lips mirroring his smile.

She hadn’t even passed the first tables when a voice, loud and arrogant, echoed behind her. “Nice skirt, new girl!”

Instinctively opening her mouth to thank the student, she stopped when she heard a few giggles follow his compliment.

So that was the problem: her skirt.

Back in Africa, wearing a skirt had never been a problem. In fact, she’d even spent many afternoons walking around the village in nothing more than a swimsuit whenever a heat wave occurred, and no one had ever said a thing about her outfit. Suddenly very self-conscious about her exposed legs, she pulled on the fabric and gritted her teeth as she took another step to Finn, eager to join her friend and forget about the remark.

Just as she wondered why Finn’s eyes were suddenly wide open, she felt air brush her skin and a hand slip under her skirt, landing right on her thigh.

From then on, everything happened fast, and all at once: Rey turned around, Finn stood up and another voice, deeper, echoed above her as a tall figure appeared by her side.

“Leave her alo-”

The unknown figure never finished his sentence, his words disappearing along with the giggles surrounding them as Rey watched  her palm connect with the student’s cheek with a loud crack. His eyes widened just as much as the hundred others staring at them and he took a few steps back, his own hands covering his cheek that was now covered by five distinct red fingers.

Heart beating fast, Rey stood there for a moment, staring at the boy with furious eyes until a hand landed on her shoulders, soon followed by Finn’s voice. “Come on, don’t stay here.”

Not taking her eyes off the shaking student she’d just slapped, Rey nodded and turned back to follow her friend.

“Hey, why wouldn’t you sit with us?” a voice called out as she started to walk.

Wondering if interrupting people was another custom she hadn’t heard of, Rey turned to the source of the voice and felt her throat tighten as she realized who had just spoken to her.

Armitage Hux. The devil.

Not sure if this was another one of these jokes she didn’t get, Rey glanced at Finn who’d already reached their table. Narrowing his eyes, he gave her a brief smile and shrugged, soon joined by Poe who gave her an inquiring look.

“Come on, sit!” the redhead insisted with a smile.

Remembering Poe’s words about being invited on a table, she bit her lips and took a seat on the chair facing the boy, doing her best to regain control of her breathing.

“That was incredible,” he continued, his smirk betraying his admiration. “Why don’t I know you?”

“I’m new,” Rey replied, cautiously weighing her words as Finn’s words echoed inside her head. _You don’t want to be their friends, but more importantly, you don’t want to be their enemy._ “I used to be home-schooled.”

“Oh yeah, she’s the girl from Africa,” commented the blonde girl. Looking up from her plate, she finally glanced at Rey and gave her a brief nod. “Don’t mind Hutt, he’s an idiot,” she added with a roll of her eyes. “I’m glad someone finally gave him what he deserves.”

The almost imperceptible smile she gave him almost achieved to guide Rey’s heartbeat to a normal pace. Encouraged by the unexpected solidarity, she took a breath and voiced the question that hadn’t left her mind since the accident. “Why did he do that?”

“Because you’re pretty.”

Taken aback by the answer, the two girls turned to the only one who hadn’t spoken so far. Still standing next to the table, Ben Solo quickly looked away from Rey and he sat back next to Hux, nervously intertwining his fingers.

“Thanks,” Rey whispered before turning to the two others, another question burning her lips. “Am I gonna be in trouble for that?”

“Probably,” the ginger replied with a shrug. “But if so, tell me. The principal owes me one.”

A frown appeared on Rey’s face, which she quickly tried to hide with a smile. “Thanks, but… why are you nice with me?”

“I was new too once,” he explained with a highly compassionate smile. “We moved from Ireland when I was ten.”

A few minutes passed, during which Armitage kept asking questions and nearly almost always ignoring her answer, his eyes fixed on the phone that hadn’t left his hands. When finally the occasion presented itself, Rey mumbled a few excuses and briefly pointed at the table where Finn, Poe and Rose were still looking at her, saying that her friends were waiting for her.

“Oh, you’ve befriended the mathletes,” Phasma said with a smirk. “That’s cute.”

“Wait,” Hux said. “Give me your phone.”

Despite her reluctance to trust him, Rey obeyed and handed Hux the old device her parents had given her a week ago. Both of his eyebrows raised with surprise, he started to type a few things then handed it to the blonde girl, who did the same.

“You should sit with us next week,” the red-haired boy stated with another one of these smiles that made her wonder if he was joking or not. “But, just so you know, we have a few rules.”

Eating with the Thirsties- or whatever they were called- wasn’t exactly what Rey had planned for her second week in high school, but she wasn’t about to let new rules escape her. And she needed her phone back.

“You can’t tell anyone about what you hear at this table,” Armitage started to list, his fingers rising one by one along with the rules he announced. “You can’t invite someone without everyone’s approval- except for me. If one of us is in trouble, we all have his back.”

“Or _her_ ,” Phasma corrected.

“Or her,” he said. “And on Wednesdays, we wear plaid.”

Before any of them could continue, a throat clearing echoed behind Rey, who turned her head just in time to see her phone extended to her by Ben’s shaky arm. Holding his gaze, she silently thanked him and grabbed the device, doing her best to ignore the way her heart hastened when their hands brushed. “Ok. I’ll go back with my friends, now.”

After promising Armitage to call him on the weekend, Rey quickly walked away from the group with clumsy, hasty strides.

“I need a plaid shirt,” she mumbled as she sunk into her chair under Poe’s amused smile.

“Oh Rey, your first year is gonna be the best you could ever have wished for,” the senior murmured with a smirk. “What did they want?”

Hesitant to break the first rule Armitage had just told her, she cautiously reported the skirt accident, Hux’s invitation to join them as well as his offer to save her if she ever ended up in the principal’s office for the monumental slap that had obviously impressed the whole cafeteria.

“Gosh, you’re so lucky you have us as your friends,” Finn whispered with disbelief once she’d finished.

For the first time since she’d stepped into the room, Rey’s felt her lips curl into a smile and she grabbed a few fries from Poe’s plate, her stomach reminding her that she hadn’t had the chance to get her own yet.

“Guys. I think I have an idea,” Poe murmured, his eyes wide, his smile maniacal.

Looking up from their meals, Finn and Rose gave him an inquiring look then followed his, lingered on Rey. Judging by the look in his eyes, she knew whatever he had in mind would get her in troubles. But Finn said they were friends, and she was in no position to pass up friends.

 


	2. The Halloween party

Turned out Poe’s idea was just as crazy as what Rey had feared: faking a friendship with the Thirst Order- or, as Rose liked to insist on calling them, the Thirsties- and meeting Poe every day after school to report on the stupid things she’d heard all day. The first time he’d said it, she hadn’t been convinced by the utility of the plan, even less by its discretion: Hux looked like he could see right through her, and she didn’t feel like spending her days with people who seriously had rules such as wearing plaid shirts every Wednesday; but if that was the price to pay for being friends with Poe, Finn and Rose, she was willing to give it a try.

After a month, it appeared that the plan wasn’t as crazy as it sounded and, despite what she tried so hard to show, actually rather fun. Every day, she would sit with Hux, Phasma and Ben for lunch and every day, she would listen to their daily complains about whoever had managed to ruin their morning, student or teacher, were it with a long lesson or an ugly skirt. Within a month, she’d gained everyone’s trust to such an extent that she’d been invited to Hux’s house a few times after school. Of course, she always refused the offer, knowing her real friends were waiting for her.

“So, Rey,” Phasma started as they were about to finish their lunch, “how do you feel about your first month at school?”

Caught off guard, Rey froze, her open mouth ready to welcome the fries planted on her fork as her eyes met the tall girl’s. “It’s… interesting,” she replied tacitly.

A smile spread on Phasma’s lips as she joined her hands together. “You haven’t even seen all of it,” she stated as the fries finally landed into Rey’s mouth. “I can’t wait for you to attend your first party.”

“Speaking of,” Hux interrupted as he turned to Ben, “How’s the Halloween one coming along?”

Firmly focused on his meal he’d barely touched, the brooding young man vaguely shrugged as he looked up, his gaze cautiously avoiding Rey as he turned to his friend. “My parents won’t be in town and my godfather offered to buy booze.”

“Good. You invited everyone?”

Something froze inside of Rey as she saw Ben approve silently with a nod before returning his attention to the food tray in front of him. After four weeks of almost complete silence from him, she’d first thought he was just a very, very shy boy- but as the days passed, it became more and more evident that Ben actually had a problem with her. She’d tried not to let it get to her mind, but the more he avoided her, the more curious she’d become. She could’ve talked to him numerous time about it, but every time, her tongue seemed to melt, preventing her from saying even a single word. Today was no exception, and she remained painfully silent as she watched him mumble an excuse and leave the table prematurely.

“Don’t let him intimidate you,” Phasma recommended with a smile as she followed Ben’s figure with her eyes until he disappeared behind the double-wing door of the cafeteria.

“I’m not intimidated,” Rey retorted as she quickly looked away.

“Well, he sure is,” the blonde girl stated with a shrug. Encouraged by Rey’s inquiring look, she added: “He’s more nervous than usual every time you’re here.”

A grin made its way on Hux and Phasma’s lips and she felt her face turn red by the insinuation, but the previous conversation quickly made it back to her mind. “I guess that’s why he didn’t invite me,” she murmured sheepishly before stuffing her mouth with more fries.

“I’ll talk to him,” Hux assured with an amused roll of his eyes. “It’s not you, he’s just weird.”

She wasn’t sure ‘weird’ was the term she would’ve used. _Impressive_ , maybe. Despite what she’d told Phasma, she was definitely impressed by Ben every time she ended up sitting next to him at lunch or catching his eyes before he quickly looked away. Even after an entire month, she couldn’t think of a single time when he’d talked to her, always managing to shrug, nod, or address his other friends as if she simply wasn’t there. It was stupid, it really was- yet, the realization that she hadn’t been invited to this apparently awaited party didn’t leave Rey as she entered the classroom later. Far too lost in her thoughts, it took her a moment to realize Ben was staring at her from a desk at the back of her class.

Well, it was technically _his_ class before hers. After a brief discussion with her math teacher, she’d been offered to join the 12 th grade calculus class as her specialized subject; unlike the cafeteria and Thirst Order rules, numbers were something she definitely understood and could agree with. Focusing her attention on the few empty desks left in the room, she tentatively approached the one next to the window, quickly claimed by a student who glared at her with the darkest look she’d ever seen. When it appeared that none of the other chairs were free anymore, Rey finally accepted her defeat and sat on the one behind Ben’s.

“Good afternoon, class!” a rather small woman exclaimed as she closed the door behind her.

A smile appeared on Rey’s lips as she followed her- a smile that quickly vanished when the teacher disappeared behind Ben’s gigantic back. Instinctively, her mouth opened but closed straight away. How could she even ask him to switch desks when he kept ignoring her existence? Begrudgingly, she swallowed her words and focused on the instructions dictated by the dynamic woman who, judging by the sounds echoing across the room, was pacing up and down the stage underneath the black board.

Something familiar washed over Rey as she started solving the equations written on the board. For the first time since she’d left Jakku, someone here seemed to be speaking her language; no matter this someone was a piece of paper filled with calculations. True to herself, she finished earlier than the other students and began to fill the top of the page with her name and student number, when an idea made its way to her mind.

“Hey,” she whispered to Ben’s back.

Of course, he remained absolutely motionless. Rolling her eyes, she leaned on her desk and poked him with the end of her pen. This time, he shifted a little and turned to her with a frown.

“Sorry,” she mumbled sheepishly. “I- what’s the date?”

A brief, awkward silence followed her words as he seemed to consider her, before finally answering the question. “It’s October 3rd.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, but he’d already turned back to his own paper and started running his pen on the paper.

The rest of the hour passed with slowness she’d rarely experienced and, by the end of the day, she came to the conclusion that Ben Solo truly, deeply hated her for a reason she ignored.

“Come on, it can’t be that awful,” Finn said as she shared her doubts with her friends after school.

Lazily settled on Rey’s bed, he’d been listening to Rey’s daily report with a grin every time she mentioned the senior who had, in her own words, ‘ruined her day”. Sitting next to him, Rose had remained silent the whole time, preventing Poe from saying something when Rey had timidly suggested the possibility that, maybe, this whole thing wasn’t worth it.

“You mean you’re abandoning the mission?” Poe finally exclaimed after silence fell on the room.

“I just mean I’m not sure it’s-”

The words died on her lips as her phone started vibrating against the floor. In the same movement, the four friends looked down on the screen, their eyes widening at the sight of the name appearing above the green and red buttons.

“You have his number?” Finn asked in a voice full of disbelief.

Frozen to the spot, Rey shrugged and nodded at the same time. “Yeah, they all gave me their-”

“Oh my god Rey, answer the damn phone!” Poe gasped.

Slightly trembling, she grabbed the device and unlocked it under her friends’ excited gazes. Swallowing with difficulty, she took a deep breath and planted it against her ear, her voice as uncertain as her movements. “Hello?”

“Hi,” Ben’s voice echoed at the other side of the line. “It’s me, Ben. Ben Solo.”

Of course she knew who it was.  Doing her best to ignore her pounding heart, Rey bit her lips, her hand tightening around the phone. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he repeated. An awkward silence followed, during which she glared at her friends giggling around her. She was about to speak again, when Poe took the phone from her hands and put the conversation on speaker with a grin. Just as she took it back, Ben’s voice rose again, slightly more uncertain than before. “Are you doing anything on Halloween?”

Rose’s eyebrows both lifted a few inches, seconded by Finn’s.

“Oh.” For a moment, it was all Rey would say, causing all her friends to roll their eyes. “You… don’t have to. Really, whatever Hux told you, it’s ok. I get it if you don’t-”

“No, I- Hux didn’t tell me anything.”

“Oh.”

Another silence filled the room, and the three friends all stopped laughing. Silently, Poe began to motion to the phone, beckoning her to say something, to which she just firmly shook her head as Ben spoke again. “So, uh, if you don’t have anything, I have this party at my house.”

“So I heard,” she mumbled automatically. Realizing what she’d just said, she felt a wince cross her face as she shamefully closed her eyes. _God, she was stupid_. No wonder why he hated her.

“Yeah, about that…” A sigh emanated from the phone, echoing across the room. “Sorry, I… meant to invite you. I just thought maybe you’d be too busy.”

“I’m not,” Rey blurted out. Almost immediately, Poe violently shook his head and began to mouth incomprehensible things. “I mean, I was,” she added as she desperately tried to understand her friend’s silent advices, “but not anymore. I guess.”

“Good,” Ben replied after a moment. “See you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah, sure,” she babbled under Poe’s gaze. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” he repeated in a lower voice.

A few seconds passed before he finally hung up, leaving the four friends as quiet as the grave. Poe was the first to break the silence, cautiously articulating as a small smile curled the corners of his lips. “So… our little Rey has a thing for Ben Solo?”

“Of course not!” she hastened to reply with a shocked expression.

“You’re blushing like crazy,” Finn pointed out as she got on her feet.

“Because you’re all looking at me,” she grumbled as she made her way next to Rose, who’d remained silent the whole time.

“Well, you can’t deny that he’s cute,” Poe said with a shrug.

This time, she clearly felt her face turn red. Of course Ben Solo was cute. He was actually a little more than cute. “He is,” she admitted timidly.

“Rey, he’s insanely hot,” Rose scolded when she settled by her side.

The words only increased Rey’s flush. A few inches from her, Finn cleared his throat. “Ok, but you know what it means?”

“I have to tell him?”

Almost immediately, a chorus of ‘Rey, _no_!’ erupted, causing her to jump with surprised. Even after a month, she apparently kept making mistakes about these unspoken rules her friends tirelessly tried to teach her. Just a week ago, she’d learned that saying hello to people just because they seemed nice wasn’t exactly as normal as it had been in Jakku. Of course, nothing happened except a weird look from the stranger she’d smiled at; but her friends kept sighing with a mix of exasperation and amusement every time one of these ‘culture shock things’, as her parents liked to call it, happened.

“You have to place everything on your Halloween costume,” Rose explained patiently.

A smile appeared on Rey’s lips as her eyebrows rose with understanding. “Oh! I can do that!”

“What can you do, honey?” a voice called from the corridor.

In the same movements, the four students turned to the door and Rey felt her smile grow wider at the sight of her mother. Even though they weren’t connected through blood, people always told Rey she looked very much like her mother: brown hair, hazel eyes and the same trail of freckles traveling along their noses and cheekbones.

“Halloween costume,” Rey replied immediately before Poe could get the chance to say anything about the call she’d just received. In less than three weeks, he’d managed to win her mother’s heart with such facility it was almost absurd. More than happy that her daughter had found friends, Jyn always welcome the three students with a warm smile- but Poe just happened to be more at ease than his boyfriend and Rose, who kept timidly greeting Mrs. Erso with polite smiles.

“She’s invited to a party,” Poe added with a grin.

“A party?” Jyn repeated with surprise before turning to her daughter. “Rey, this is great! You could all go as ghostbusters.”

“Oh we’re not invi-,” Finn started to say before Rey nudged him in the stomach, stopping him mid-sentence before he rectified: “Poe and I are already going as Batman and Robin.”

“I look great in tights,” Poe stated casually, making the whole room laugh.

 

**\- - -**

 

It appeared, four weeks later, that ‘halloween costume’ probably didn’t mean the same thing to Rey than it did to every single person in America. Treading upon the pavement, she soon realized that everyone- children, parents and teenagers- was dressed up as various colorful characters she didn’t know, or as if they’d just been forced to sacrifice their pants. Either way, none of them looked scary, which seemed a bit odd for such a celebration.

As usual, Rey looked ridiculously out of place: wrapped up in an imposing wedding dress her mother had lent her, she was beginning to wonder if _placing everything on her costume_ actually meant wearing fake teeth and an awful wig. On top of that, the whole outfit had been splattered with fake blood. _I’ve always hated that dress_ , Jyn had assured her while Cassian had been joyously spreading red liquid over the skirt, giggling like a kid finally allowed to destroy his least favorite toy.

The walk to Ben’s home –only a few blocks away from hers- had already made her rethink her choice, but her doubts were confirmed when a lingerie-wearing Phasma opened the door of the giant house, eyeing her from head to toe before releasing a not-so-subtle sigh.

“Oh, Rey, you’re adorable…” she murmured with an amused smile.

“Thanks,” she replied as she noticed how short Phasma’s black dress was. “What’s your… costume?”

Pointing at the headband keeping her hair from her face, Phasma rolled her eyes. “I’m a cat! _Duh_.”

It was, indeed, crowned with pointed ears. Not even giving Rey time to ask what kind of cat wore lacy-topped tights, the senior girl grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside. Immediately, Rey found herself surrounded by too many noises and smells she had the hardest time listing. Unknown music, sweat, laughter, plastic, perfume- everything seemed to blend into a weird, sickening whole that already had her head spinning.

“Come on, Hux has to see your costume,” Phasma pressed as they trotted to the living room.

“I’m not sure- _sorry_ ,” Rey apologized as she bumped into a few guests she’d never seen before. “I should get changed, actually.”

Not even listening to her, Phasma kept pushing people aside as she progressed through the room, dragging Rey with her. After a few complaints from the guests, usually shut with a single glare from the tall girl, they finally reached the table where Hux was talking to another senior student, a red cup in hands.

“Holy shit,” he breathed as he turned away from his friend to acknowledge them. “Rey, you’re hideous.”

“Thanks,” she murmured sheepishly, not sure if this was a compliment.

Not daring to ask what his costume was lest she would make a fool of herself by ignoring the existence of another movie or show, she considered his outfit attentively. At first glance, he looked like a typical baseball player, a yellow and blue jacket simply covering his narrow shoulders- but as she kept looking, a few stains of fake blood scattered here and there became more clear. He’d also ripped his jeans --something she’d once heard him point out as ‘savage’.

“So, you’re…?”

“A zombie baseball player,” he replied with a nod. “And you’re a... zombie bride?”

He didn’t look anything like a zombie, Rey thought as she narrowed her eyes; except for the dramatically torn clothes revealing his pale skin. He was seriously lacking the amount of muscles this type of costume surely hinted at. “I’m an ex-wife,” she said with a smile exposing her fake teeth, “I guess we sort of get along!”

All she was met with was a chuckle, and a shake of his head before Hux ran to another one of these friends she’d never heard of.

 

The party ran is course, but even after an hour, the host was nowhere to be found.

Not that she’d really been looking for him: trying to follow Phasma through the gigantic house was quite an adventure in itself, but she’d assumed, after spending two months eating with them every day, the three seniors would at least stay with her during her first party. Her real friends would never have left her alone- of that, she was certain. They also wouldn’t have put such loud music, or drank as much as these people seemed to. More than once, she’d been offered one of these red cups she kept seeing all around the house, but she kept refusing every time. She’d been offered cigarettes, too; but refusing to smoke seemed more acceptable than refusing to drink.

Eventually, Phasma disappeared, leaving Rey alone in a crowd of unknown faces all staring at her with amused smiles. She was about to ask what was wrong when she remembered her get-up and how discordant she was, and a timid “Where’s the bathroom?” was all that came out of her mouth.

“Upstairs,” replied a boy she recognized as a student from her calculus class.

Feeling like asking for more details would only result in more giggles and intrigued looks, she silently thanked them with a nod before climbing the stairs as quickly as her heavy dress allowed her to. Even though she hadn’t drink a single drop of alcohol, her head ended up spinning from the ascent and loud music she could still hear as she considered the long corridor in front of her. Half a dozen mirrors, and just as many doors were staring back at her, none of them displaying a single ‘bathroom’ sign that could’ve guided her. With a sigh, she began her quest for the room where she hoped she would be able to get rid of that costume as well as the mocking looks she’d felt on her the whole evening.

The first tries weren’t exactly successful: every time she opened a door, she stumbled upon guest rooms and studies, all plunged in darkness. She was starting to wonder if this house even had a bathroom when she opened the last door of the corridor, only to find herself face to face with a very confused Ben Solo.

The room was very different from the five others she’d just seen. Indeed, it was different from the whole house: far from the purified aesthetic she’d observed since her arrival, it looked like he’d made sure that every single inch of his walls were covered, to such an extent that she wasn’t able to see its original color. Posters, pictures, drawing- he’d even added a few postcards on top of it all. A never-ending bookcase filled with DVDs and action figures ran along the largest wall with, in its center, a TV on which she could read the words _Game Over_.

“Uh… hi,” she mumbled.

She wasn’t sure if talking to him was the thing to do in that kind of situation, but running away without saying anything sure wasn’t the best reaction. Leaving his stretched out position, Ben straightened up on his bed, his hands firmly tightened around a gamepad.

“You didn’t come here to murder me, did you?” he murmured after a moment of observing her costume.

A nervous chuckle escaped Rey, as well as an blush as she remembered how she looked like. “No, I’m just… looking for the bathroom. Looks like your house doesn’t have any, you might want to report it.”

It was now Ben’s turn to let out a soft chuckle. “There’s one per room, actually,” he explained. “Mine’s just there, you can use it.”

Following the direction his finger was pointing at, Rey noticed a door handle concealed behind more posters. Thanking him with a nod, she took the few steps separating her from the invisible door and opened it, eager to extricate herself from this ridiculous costume.

Based on many conversations she’d witnessed in the two past months, she’d guessed that Ben and his friends all came from rich families; but not the one-bathroom-per-room kind of rich. As carefully as she could, she sat on the edge of the bathtub and took her wig off.

“I’ve been looking for you.” The word left her mouth before she could even think about it.

Ben’s voice echoed from behind the door a few seconds later, slightly more assured than he’d ever been. “Oh?”

Weirdly, not being able to see him as they talked encouraged her to keep talking. Reaching for the zipper running along her waist, she bit her lips with apprehension as she opened her mouth once again. “Yeah, you didn’t exactly let me thank you for the invitation.”

A brief silence followed, before his voice rose again. “Well, you’re welcome.”

She almost didn’t hear his last word as her costume fell on the floor, leaving her with nothing more than the light white underdress she’d been wearing underneath. Doing her best not to step on the lacy fabric, she stepped over it as many possible questions rushed through her head. Surprisingly enough, Ben had proved in the last weeks that avoiding her even more than before was indeed possible. From shortening his meals to changing his seat in calculus, every excuse seemed like a good one not to talk to her.

“So, what are you doing here?” she asked while brushing the surface of her new outfit. According to the mirror above the sink, her cheeks were still bright red.

“If I say I’m avoiding my own party, would you believe me?”

Her lips curled into a small smile at the answer. _Of course_. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the handle of the door once again and walked back into the room, her heavy dress in hands. “I would.”

A new silence fell on the room. Unsure about what to do next, Rey looked away, the noise of floppy fabric brushing the floor as she walked back to the door. Just when she was about to open it, she hesitated for a split second- a split second that led to another, and another, until she took her courage and turned back to Ben. “Mind sharing your hideout?”

He shrugged in response, motioning to the spot next to him, and for a brief moment, she was almost certain she’d seen his cheeks turn as red as hers.

 

She wasn’t sure how much time they stayed here –an hour, maybe two- but she was absolutely sure of one thing: she regretted not playing video games until today. Barely speaking, Ben still insisted that she was insanely good for a beginner, to which she replied with a modest shrug. The game was rather intuitive once the buttons and their roles were memorized, and oddly more entertaining than the party happening downstairs. After another victory, Rey let out a sigh before finally turning to Ben. With each passing second since they’d started to play, his jaw had seemed to relax a little more. He’d even looked at her a few times, when she wasn’t observing the denim jacket covering his broad shoulders.

“Rumor has it I make your nervous?” she asked in a breath.

The repetitive music announcing his defeat echoed from his gamepad. Visibly nervous, Ben bit his lips and let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, you just killed me, and your fake teeth aren’t helping.”

 _Shit_. Rolling her eyes at her stupidity, Rey quickly took the accessory out of her mouth, drawing another chuckle out of her adversary.

“I meant on a daily basis,” she corrected sheepishly while placing the fake teeth at the foot of the bed where she’d abandoned her dress and wig.

Swallowing with difficulty, Ben nodded a few times as his smile vanished, making way to a frown. After a few seconds of intense reflection, he took a deep breath and looked at her. “Yes. You’re… different from the others.”

A sour laugh escaped Rey at the revelation. “Yeah, cause I don’t know anything.”

“No!” Ben exclaimed on an apologetic tone. “No, you’re… I mean, yes, but it’s interesting. You’re probably far more cultured than any of us.”

This time, Rey remained silent. _Interesting_. The word kept echoing inside her head, bouncing against the walls as the temperature of the room seemed to increase significantly. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard him talk so much let alone with such a low voice.

“Yeah, but… in the end, being different often means being alone,” she murmured bitterly.

“You’re not alone.”

The words hit her like a knife. Timidly, she planted her eyes into Ben’s, who gulped but held her gaze. He was nothing like the Ben Solo she’d seen every day since her arrival: shifting eyes, no dry remarks said just for the sake of impressing his friends. Just for a moment, it seemed like there was only them, a boy standing in front of a girl, promising her something he probably couldn’t imagine the impact of. And just for a moment, she wanted to believe him.

“Neither are you,” Rey replied in a murmur.

Following her instincts, she let go of the gamepad and placed a hand on the mattress, halfway between them. Following her movements with his eyes, Ben mirrored the gesture and brushed her fingers with his.

They stayed like this for a few seconds, or maybe it was minutes, until Rey finally found it in her to clear her throat and remove her hand. “We should probably go back downstairs,” she babbled. “I heard you’re hosting a party there.”

Chuckling, Ben approved with a nod and left the bed. Following suit, Rey realized as she got back on her feet that he’s wasn’t that tall- she could easily reach his lips, if she wanted to. Following her thoughts, her eyes lingered on his mouth then shifted to the shirt he was wearing under a denim jacket. It was plaid, as usual, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen this one before: different shades of green and blue running along the pattern, far from the red and black one he’d worn last Wednesday. Not that she’d noticed it, of course.

“What’s your costume?” she asked, intrigued by the normality of his outfit. She’d grown used to seeing him in plaid shirts –every Wednesday, as the rule stated-, but never had she seen him without his usual black leather jacket.

“Oh,” Ben breathed out, looking down at his shirt as well. “I’m Bender.”

A silence followed, during which he looked back at Rey.

“The Breakfast Club?” he added.

She shook her head, as she did every time someone mentioned something she didn’t know.

“God, you need to see it. I probably have the DVD somewhere; I’ll give it to you.”

Ready to laugh at herself as she’d been doing for weeks now, Rey felt her eyes widen at Ben’s tone. He was, by far, the first not to make a song and dance about her ignorance of what sounded like a classic. Not even a smile or a scoff crossed his face as he looked at her dress one more time, visibly thinking. “You could use another costume.”

Oblivious to the smile curling her lips, she grabbed the dress she’d left on the floor and threw it on her shoulder.  “I’m actually going as the girl who got rid of her costume because everyone kept laughing at her.”

“Screw them,” Ben murmured. Once again, he stared at her for a few seconds until something seemed to cross his mind. “Come on, I have an idea.”

Intrigued yet curious, Rey followed him to the other side of the room where he stopped in front of a large wardrobe reflecting their image. They may look different, but… seeing herself next to Ben wasn’t as weird as she’d imagined. At first sight, they were like night and day. He would’ve stood from the crowd in Jakku, paler than the albino meerkat she’d once seen travel across the village. But now, she was the meerkat: small, out of place with her still sun-bronzed skin highly contrasting with his, far from her homeland. Now that she thought about it, she wondered if Ben had ever seen a meerkat. Maybe on his TV, or in a zoo; nothing like the breathtaking landscapes she missed so much.

They definitely looked different; yet, something in their duo felt natural. Maybe it was the way she kept smiling every day to balance his morose gaze; or how his silence beckoned her to pay more attention to what was happening around her. Lost in their reflection, she’d forgotten to ask what he was looking for when Ben victoriously brandished a pink T-shirt.

“Arms up?” he asked timidly, a small smile on the corner of his mouth.

Caught unaware, Rey raised an eyebrow but obeyed nonetheless and the wedding dress fell on the floor once again. Cautiously, Ben slid the T-shirt above her head and pulled gently on its edge, accompanying it until it completely fell on her bust.

“I was already wearing a dress,” she pointed out with a smile. Shaking his head, Ben bit his lip as he looked around him with frustration, until finally he seemed to find what he was looking for. Not giving her any explanation, he grabbed the brown blanket they’d been sitting on for the past hour and beckoned Rey to keep her arms in the air as his parted around her hips, sending a shiver over her body.

“Now you’re Claire,” he murmured as he knotted the loose ends of the blanket on top on the large T-shirt.

“Claire,” Rey repeated as if she was learning a lesson. Risking a glance to the mirror, she found herself smiling at her own reflection as well as Ben’s.

“You’ll understand when you see the movie,” he promised as he threw a khaki coat on top of his jacket. Even through the mirror, she could see him looking at her with a smile that made her heart miss a beat. “You really have to see it.”

“Sure thing, uh… Bender?” Rey tented with a smile as she turned back to him, narrowing her eyes in an effort to remember the name he’d told her earlier.

“You can call me Ben.”

Just as a grin made its way on his lips, she realized she’d never seen him smile before that night. Way too conscious of her burning cheeks, she felt her own lips curl into an amused smile. “Ok, _Ben_ ,” she articulated as she followed him to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely late, but Happy Halloween! I hope you're ready for the Winter Talent Show eheh


	3. Grool

As it turned out, Ben never gave Rey the DVD. Instead, he called her a week later, mumbling an invitation to come and watch The Breakfast Club at his house.

Their relationship had changed drastically since the Halloween party; instead of the silence they’d both grown used to, Ben now seemed to make it a point to talk to her every time he got the chance, to her greatest surprise. It was a shy conversation, and usually short-lived, but definitely welcome. Still, she hadn’t expected his name to appear on her phone the following Saturday, followed by his deep yet timid voice. And this was how, forty minutes and three outfits later, she found herself ringing the door to something that was closer to a mansion than an actual human-sized house.

She almost felt surprised when the door opened not on a domestic servant but on a rather distinguished woman who couldn’t be anyone but Ben’s mother. She was far more welcoming than him, a warm smile curling the corners of her lips in a way that automatically made Rey feel accepted even though she hadn’t stepped inside yet. Despite her short frame, the woman was insanely impressive, considering her with amused, piercing eyes as if she was wondering whether or not Rey was worthy enough to enter.

“You must be Rey,” she finally said with a beaming smile. “Ben is coming, he’s-”

“Here! I’m here!”

Visibly repressing a laugh, the woman rolled her eyes before turning to his son, who looked as if he’d just been running a marathon.

Maybe he had, actually; if Rey’s memory was correct, his room was at the end of a long corridor, situated at the back of the house. Breathless, he jumped the last steps he’d hurtled down and walked to the door, his eyes fixed on Rey who couldn’t look away either.

“Hi,” she murmured when he stood before her, towering both her and his mother. Nervously biting her lips in the hope he wouldn’t notice the blush creeping on her cheeks, she forgot to come inside, only reminded of it when the woman stepped aside to let her in, her smile not fading the least.

“Sorry, I was, uh- putting something on,” Ben mumbled as he closed the door behind her.

For a brief second, Rey caught him meeting his mother’s intrigued gaze and frowning, silently asking her not to talk. Not wanting to interrupt anything, she remained silent and motionless until the woman turned back to her, a hand on her forehead suiting her apologetic look. “Sorry dear, I didn’t even- I’m Ben’s mom.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Solo,” Rey said in her most polite voice.

“Oh, it’s Organa,” she corrected with a patient smile, “but please call me Leia.”

Just as she was about to take Rey’s hand into hers, another voice rose from what Rey remembered to be the kitchen, followed by heavy footsteps. “Is the girl here yet?”

It was now Ben’s turn to roll his eyes, his cheeks turning as red as the plaid shirt he was wearing. Now fully aware of her own burning face, Rey looked away as an older man stepped out of the kitchen, visibly searching for the other members of his family that were currently staring at him, one with amusement and the other with irritation. Alerted by the silence reigning over the house, he turned to them, his mouth turning into the shape of an O as his eyes lingered on Rey. “Oh, she is.”

“Hello,” Rey murmured with embarrassment.

He was tall- but not as tall as Ben, she noticed as he joined them, completing the family portrait. Next to the other, the two men were a rather interesting pair to watch: where Ben had the most inscrutable face, the man Rey assumed was his father wore his worries between every wrinkles in the most joyous way she’d ever seen. His look was confident, too; far from the hesitant pace of his son who took every opportunity to plunge his hands in his pockets whenever his arms weren’t occupied.

Despite these differences, there was something quite similar in the way they both tried to fill in the awkward silence, yet one smiling while the other seemed to be praying for his parents to disappear instantly.

“Dad, this is Rey,” Ben said after a brief silence. “She came to watch a movie.”

An amused smirk made its way to the man’s lips. “To watch a movie,” he repeated, considering Rey with an incredulous gaze that only increased her blush.

“The Breakfast Club,” Rey added, sensing Ben’s embarrassment.

Almost immediately, the man raised both eyebrows with surprise, his smirk vanishing while his wife turned to him, a small smile betraying her satisfaction. “The Breakfast Club? Interesting choice,” he pondered, his eyes drifting between the two teenagers.

“She’s never seen it,” Ben explained impatiently.

Almost immediately, his father’s eyes snapped to Rey, looking as if they were both taking him for a ride. “You’ve never…” Ben stopped him mid-sentence with a nod, crossing his arms with a defying look. Blinking twice, the man turned back to Rey, his surprise only increasing with each second. “Damn! Go watch it now, kid!”

Repressing a chuckle, Rey bobbed her head in agreement and cast a glance at Ben. Probably guessing her silent question, he tilted his head to the side, beckoning her to follow him as he started walking to the staircase.

“Oh, Ben! Door open,” Mrs Organa-Solo said behind them.

Ben’s embarrassment could’ve been mistaken with anger, if it hadn’t been for the tip of his ears turning as red as his cheeks. Even focusing on her own breathing in hopes to control the rush of blood threatening to burn her face from the inside, she could notice his jaw flexing as he threw his head backwards.

“Gosh, of course Mom,” he said with a slight roll of his eyes.

“Let them do their thing, Leia.”

It was now Rey’s turn to grit her teeth, slowly realizing the insinuation. Eyes wide open, she turned back to face Mr. Solo, mirroring Ben she could feel holding his breath next to her.

“I’m not a regular dad,” he said as soon as their eyes met. “I’m a cool dad.”

As if the whole conversation hadn’t been awkward enough, Mr. Solo added a very noticeable, heavy wink, drawing another sigh of frustration from his son.

“No you’re not,” Ben mumbled before turning away from his parents. For the second time since her arrival, he beckoned Rey to follow him and guided her up the stairs, ignoring the argument that had started in the hallway.

They both remained silent as they walked through the house, only the sound of their footsteps echoing between the walls of the long corridor that Rey recognized as the one she’d crossed a week ago while in search for a bathroom to hide in. The walls seemed less empty, now embellished with paintings of various landscapes and portraits that probably represented members of Ben’s family.

“So… will the others join us?” Rey asked as they reached his room.

Ben paused for a second, his hand on the door handle as his eyes seemed to fill up with panic. “No, they’re…” he paused again, clearing his throat before his gaze seemed to catch on her. “I didn’t think they would appreciate this kind of movie.”

A shiver traveled through Rey’s body, running up her spine to her stomach, tightening it with strength. She’d been here before, but accidentally walking in Ben’s room while avoiding a party was significantly different than being actually invited, especially when it was only the two of them. Was she supposed to be afraid? Something in her had indeed raised the alarm, but it wasn’t exactly panic. Nervousness, for sure; but maybe even a hint of excitement.

“I don’t think they would appreciate us doing something without them,” she murmured, a small smile betraying her lack of concern.

“Screw them,” Ben mumbled with a shrug. As if his own words had surprised him, he quickly looked away and shrugged as he opened the door, stepping aside to let her in first.

His room was just as she’d left it last weekend, with the exception of a few shirts laid across his bed. Smiling at the thought of him hesitating between a navy plaid shirt and a dark blue, Rey walked to the large library of DVDs, curiously eyeing the different covers and titles perfectly aligned on the shelves.

“You’ve seen them all?”

Ben joined her side a few seconds later, folding his arms as his eyes remained fixed on the shelves as well. “Yeah, I used to watch one every night with my father.” A brief silence followed his words, suggesting that this tradition was no longer effective. “Anyway…” Without any warning, he extended one of his arms above Rey’s head, reaching for the highest shelf. A soft yet unmistakable amber-scented fragrance accompanied his movement, drawing Rey to bite the inside of her cheeks as she felt a shiver tickling the back of her neck. “Ready?”

Looking up, Rey gave him a timid nod as her eyes met his. “Ready.”

It only took her a few minutes to know she loved this movie, and sixty more to finally understand the meaning behind the last-minute costume Ben had given her. Slightly blushing, she chose to ignore the kiss between the characters they’d both portrayed a week ago, feeling Ben’s gaze on her as she focused on the screen in front of them. Both remained frozen until the ending credits stopped, pushing Rey to mumble an excuse to leave, not without promising she would absolutely be willing to do it again anytime.

 

She came back the week after and the one after that, until this became a tradition. Every Saturday morning, Ben would call to invite her over for a screening of another movie he insisted was a classic; and every time, she would say yes and show up an hour later, cheeks red and knees shaking at the idea of spending two hours silently sitting next to him on his bed. Once or twice, they arms or legs brushed, followed by hasty excuses mumbled under their breath as they both looked away awkwardly, pretending to focus on whatever movie Ben had chosen.

By mid-December, they’d watched enough movies for her to be able to casually quote some of them in random conversation.

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”

“What now?”

Giggling at Finn’s face, Rey shook her head and kept walking around the room. She’d been pacing back and forth the whole afternoon, under the tired eyes of her friends who probably already regretted inviting her over for what they’d called a ‘Christmas snack’ “It’s from Monty Python.”

Finn and Poe exchanged a shrug while Rose joined Rey’s laugher, bending over her bed to grab her buzzy phone. “It’s a movie. You guys are just uncultured.”

“Anyway,” Poe said, ignoring the girls’ chuckles, “how about the Winter Show trainings?”

Scoffing, Rey sat next to Rose and grabbed one of the brownies Mrs. Tico had made for them, taking her time to reply. Swallowing with difficulty, she let out a soft chuckle at the memory of this week’s training. “Awful, of course.” She’d only learned about the –apparently- famous Winter Talent Show a month ago when Hux informed her she needed to learn a whole choreography and attend weekly repetitions at his house.

“God, I can’t wait to see this disaster,” Poe murmured with a smirk.

Next to him, Finn shook his head with amusement. “I love it when they do the thing; Mr. Skywalker’s look is always priceless.”

“They changed it a little,” Rey said between brownie bites. “It’s a double couple’s salsa, now.”

“Speaking of couples… how are things with Solo?” Rose asked casually.

Had she not been used to the question, Rey would probably have choked on her brownie; but she managed to smile as she engulfed the rest of the cake in her mouth, drawing an exasperated sigh from Finn who still wasn’t used to her awful eating manners. “Things are great,” she articulated with her mouth full of chocolate. “And he’s called Ben.”

The word seemed to encourage Poe to tease her a little more than usual, enjoying the blush creeping over her cheeks every time he mentioned her crush and the little things she told them about the afternoons spent in Ben’s bedroom. Despite her promise to keep these moments a secret between them, she still couldn’t help telling her friends about the few times she’d noticed something in his eyes or voice leading her to think that maybe, _maybe_ he was as desperate as her to try and hold her hand.

 

**\- - -**

 

The last day of classes arrived faster than Rey had expected, and with it came the awaited Winter Talent Show night. Before she could even understand how, Rey found herself stuck in a tight, uncomfortable Santa costume that, in her opinion, revealing way too much skin. She shouldn’t have been surprised after the curious get-ups she’d seen during Halloween, but ending up wrapped in what looked more like a bikini than an actual Santa costume wasn’t exactly what she’d imagined for her first performance.  Behind the curtain the familiar voice of their headmaster announced their group, asking for a round of applause, and it only made her stomach tighten  more. Next to her, Hux seemed to be just as nervous.

“You’ll be ok,” she reminded him gently. “We practiced a lot.”

The boy’s jaw flexed, betraying his irritation. “It has to be perfect, not ok,” he whispered. “Besides, I’m not worried about me.”

Frowning, Rey followed his gaze, only to meet Ben’s who’d apparently been staring at her for a moment. Almost immediately, her muscles relaxed and she felt the tension leave her body. In just a month, Ben had become not only a good friend, but also the only thing that made her days a little less boring whenever Poe’s plan felt too difficult to follow. Between Hux’s daily complaints and criticisms, finding Ben’s reassuring smile across the table was always a relief; sometimes even the promise of a well-deserved relaxing afternoon the following Saturday, away from this madness of school.

“My hair has been so dry lately, I don’t know what’s going on.”

Dragged back to reality by their leader’s new complaint, they both looked away from each other under Phasma’s amused look.

“I have a good conditioner,” Ben started cautiously. “I can drive you home after this and-”

“And end up with that rug you call a haircut?” Hux interrupted, eyebrows raised with surprise. “No, thanks.”

And this was the moment Rey lost the calmness she’d shown for the past two months.

“Phasma, switch with me.”

The platinum blonde turned to her, both eyebrows raised in surprise, then nodded her agreement without any arguments. Behind her, Ben was staring at her with wide eyes.

“You can’t,” Hux stated with a shake of his head. “We agreed on partners two weeks ago.”

It took Rey an insane amount of bravery to turn to him with a straight face, and even more to keep her voice from trembling as she chose the words carefully, mirroring the tone she’d heard him use so many times for the past weeks whenever one of them had the misfortune to be targeted by the boy’s harsh comments.

“That was before I remembered I’m allergic to jersey,” she said, eyeing his shirt with as much disdain as she was capable of.

Of the four of them, he was of course the only one whose costume wasn’t too short of tight, but actually rather flattering. How someone could look good in a three-piece Santa costume, Rey had no idea; still, Hux was the most distinguished of them all.

“You’re being ridiculous,” he said with a chuckle.

The words only fueled Rey’s growing anger and, before she could repress it, her mouth opened, releasing a sharp, cold voice she’d never heard before. “And right now, you’re getting on my last nerve.”

Breaking the perfect line Hux had, according to himself, been working on for a whole night, Rey walked to Ben as Phasma took her place next to Hux. He looked ridiculously small, his creased brows only adding to Rey’s desire to burst out laughing as she took place next to Ben. Before their leader could call her back, the curtain opened and the music started, drawing them to display large smiles as the dance began.

_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock-_

One, two, three steps forward. Ignoring the butterflies she could feel flying inside her stomach, Rey focused on her moves, praying not to fall with the ridiculously high heels she’d been given only an hour ago. She may have been inexperienced in terms of Talent Shows, but she was pretty sure tripping in front of the whole school would not be good for her popularity level. Careful not to lose control of her feet, she twirled to her left just in time to see Ben do the same.

_Now the jingle hop had begun-_

“Sorry.”

Before she could ask what exactly he was apologizing for, Rey felt a fire creep onto her cheeks the moment Ben’s hand landed on her waist, just where the crop top and skirt weren’t covering her skin. Biting her lips, she gave him a timid smile as to brush his concerns away and placed one hand on his shoulder while the other took his, allowing him to guide the dance they’d learned for the past few weeks.

Of course, her fingers immediately gave her away, trembling as soon as they came in contact with his. More embarrassed than she’d ever been, Rey glanced at the crowd in search of her parents, that she immediately saw waving at her with forced smiles. Next to them, a very enthusiastic Mr. Solo was making his way to the alley, recording the whole thing with an old camera and a beaming smile as he crushed the whole row on his way.

_Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square-_

“Spin,” Ben whispered.

A second too late, Rey did as she was told and spun around, holding on to his hand as his arm extended just enough to guide her. Realizing her delay, she hastened the movement and landed a little too violently on Ben with her free hand on his chest for support and a breathlessness that had nothing to do with the dance. Nervously, she gulped and risked a glance at him as she realized his legs had stopped moving.

He was staring at her again with those dark eyes that seemed sharp enough to read through her; and suddenly, it was as if the whole world had disappeared. No dance, no talent show, no school: just him, and this attentive yet confused look that gradually made her believe in all the cheesy romances they’d been watching for the last month, away from prying –but mostly judgmental- eyes.

Even his hands were soft, large palms hesitantly caressing the small of her back with a calm rhythm far from the catchy one they were supposed to follow. Maybe this was their movie moment. Their Bender and Claire moment- even though Ben was absolutely different from the rude bad boy he’d portrayed for a night. Holding her breath, Rey let him pull her closer, instinctively parting her lips as her eyes lingered on his.

“Solo, Andor- what the fuck are you doing?”

And just like that, everything reappeared. The music, the public, the school- they were all here, their eyes glued on a stage occupied by four teenagers dressed up as what Rey assumed was supposed to be Santa’s children. Ben seemed to come back to earth as well, clearing his throat and going back to the dance they’d momentarily stopped because of- whatever this had been. Clumsily, Rey tried to follow his steps,  avoiding Hux’s gaze she could feel on her back.

Of course, this was the moment one of her heels chose to break. Without any warning, her ankle bent in a way it shouldn’t have and her left leg surrendered, kicking the radio set that’d –until now- provided them with an anthem. Suddenly, the whole auditorium fell into a silence only broken by Hux’s deep sigh as he stared at her with anger. Next to him, Phasma looked just as amused as mortified, frozen on the spot in the most uncomfortable position Rey had ever seen, even for someone as graceful as her. Head thrown backwards, she desperately held onto Hux, who was visibly struggling to maintain her with only one arm, the other dramatically raised above his head. One more second, and he would collapse under his partner.

“What a bright time, it’s the right time…”

Something in Rey’s chest tightened, dragging her to look at Ben whose mouth was barely allowing the words to cross his lips.

“To rock the night away,” she continued hesitantly.

“Jingle bell time is a swell time,” someone in the public hastened to add.

“To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh!” A smile spread on her lips as she recognized Finn’s voice from the first row, accompanied by Rose’s giggles. Just a few seconds later, three notes echoed from the piano settled in front of the stage. Looking down at it, Rey saw her math teacher joyously hitting the keys while dropping a wink in her direction.

It didn’t take long for the whole crowd to sing along with them, rhythmed by Mrs. Kanata’s hidden music skills and her and Ben’s snaps that Phasma and Hux quickly joined. Almost immediately, the show went on in a way more cheerful ambiance than before- except for the wince that escaped Rey as soon as she started dancing again, recorded by Mr. Solo who was now mirroring their dance from the empty alley he’d jumped in.

“You’re ok?” Ben asked, his giant hand squeezing hers.

Gritting her teeth, she nodded and let out a grunt as she almost tripped on her own foot, the pain causing her to frown heavily. “It’s nothing,” she assured when he stopped his own movements. They were just seconds away from the end; she could endure a few more moves without ruining the whole thing more than she already had.

Ben didn’t seem to share her opinion. Not giving her a split second to protest, he bent down just enough to slip his arms behind her back and legs and rose up, carrying a mortified Rey who held on to him, wide eyed and cheeks redder than ever. A few giggles echoed from the first rows, as well as a whistle she was pretty sure was Poe’s.

“That’s the jingle bell rock!” The whole room sang in unison. For the first time since the evening had started, the curtain closed on a cheering crowd congratulating the four students with loud applauses that cheered Hux up to the extent that he seemed to have forgotten about the incident that’d caused this ovation.

“That was the best it ever went!” he squealed as soon as they were fully hidden.

A hesitant smile made its way to Rey’s lips. Hux may be a not-that-good person, from what she’d seen so far- but what she was currently seeing on his face was pure, sincere joy; and everyone, even him, deserved that. Cautiously, Ben put her back on the floor, one of his arms still absent-mindedly warped around her waist. For support, probably; still, she couldn’t stop her heart from drumming against her ribcage in the most maddening pace.

“Good job, guys!”

In the same movement, the four of them turned to the source of the voice that was unmistakably talking to them. Rey’s smile immediately widened when she recognized Poe, trotting to them with that eternal smirk on his lips.

“Dameron,” Hux snarled. All trace of joy had left him, and Rey immediately remembered what made her hate him on a daily basis.

“Hugs,” Poe replied with a fake bow. Not giving his sworn enemy time to respond, he turned to Rey and took one of her hands in his, kissing the top of it in the most ridiculous, exaggerated way she’d ever seen.  “Nice move, Jakku.”

For a moment, his eyes drifted to her side and his eyes seemed to widen a little. Suddenly remembering Ben’s hand was still on her, Rey’s cheeks flared with yet another blush as her friend gave her an almost imperceptible wink before he stepped back, hurried by Hux’s reminder that this was the artists’ area and that he had nothing to do here.

“Oh my God, you totally have a crush on Dameron,” the red-haired boy said as Poe disappeared behind the curtain. “Is that why you befriended the nerds?”

All of a sudden, Rey felt a knot tighten in her stomach and Ben’s hand leave her waist. “Uh, no. I just-” The word died on her lips, and she noticed an almost imperceptible smirk blossoming in the corner of Hux’s mouth. “They’re just… embarrassing.”

Hux hummed in approval, nodding pensively. “Especially Dameron,” he added in a murmur, his eyes fixed on her, waiting for her reaction.

“Yeah, and don’t let him think he’s funny,” Rey added instinctively, “he’s already way too proud of himself.” She realized, as the words escaped her, that it was only okay when Rose said it.

“Now that’s funny!” Visibly amused by her comment, Hux turned to Phasma with a wide smile. “Do you still have the Burn Book?”

Rey had no idea what a burn book was; but given the look on the two friends, this was not good. Not even ten minutes later, she find out that her instincts were indeed right when she ended up sitting on the floor on an empty classroom, squeezed between Hux and Phasma who, after having written her earlier statement on a blank page, insisted on handing her the sacred flashy pink notebook.

“Come on, it’s super relaxing,” Hux assured while slipping a pen between her fingers.

“And fun,” Phasma added, tossing the book on her laps.

Swallowing nervously, Rey risked a glance at Ben, who hadn’t said a word since they’d entered the room. He hadn’t said anything on the way either; but his eyes hadn’t left her, a frown betraying his disapproval towards the whole project. Begrudgingly, Rey looked away and turned the paged with a sigh. She had to do it; for Poe, for herself, and for something else she couldn’t quite place. Gritting her teeth, she scribbled the first words that came to her mind –something she’d heard in the math corridor once, but hadn’t exactly understood, which convinced her that this was probably something the Thirsties would approve of.

“Mrs. Kanata is super high?” Phasma repeated with an audible smirk.

Judging by the laugh Hux let out, Rey had every reason to feel ashamed about what she’d just written.

 

**_ _ _**

 

“And they have this book- a Burn Book,” she reported to Poe the day after in the privacy of Rose’s bedroom.

The shame she’d felt the moment her joke had crossed her lips hadn’t left her for the whole night, keeping her awake until the first hours in the morning until, finally, she gathered her courage to text Poe, Finn and Rose and ask for an emergency meeting as soon as the three of them were available. They didn’t seem too shocked about the news, though: true to himself, Finn was writing the entire report in a small notebook they’d selected in the first days of their plan while Poe kept pacing back and forth, interrupted from time to time by an exhausted Rose throwing him a cookie. She’d been the last to perform the day before, gracing the whole school with an emotional cover of a song Rey couldn’t remember the name of. She hadn’t confessed to her late arrival, seeing the sparks in Rose’s eyes when she’d asked her what she’d thought of the performance. Amazing, Rey had said.

“Did they write anything about me?”

For what felt like the umpteenth time this week, Rey felt her heart both stop and jump inside her chest She’d thought about telling Poe what she’d said- truly, she had. But all her remnants of bravery evaporated at the sight of Poe’s hopeful gaze on her, causing her to only shake her head sheepishly.

“Those bitches,” Poe whispered, outraged. “Ok, how about you steal it? We could show it to the rest of the school, so everyone finally sees how mean they are.”

“No!” Silence fell on the room, soon followed by the sound of a cookie missing its aim as it landed on the floor. Slowly realizing she’d just screamed, Rey cleared her throat under her friends’ intrigued gazes. “I mean, it’s… dangerous. Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”

“Oh, I see…” Hands crossed behind his back, Poe walked to her at a predatory pace, narrowing his eyes. “You’re letting your crush on Solo influence your judgment.”

A scoff escaped Rey as she repressed a sigh of relief, and she crossed her arms as well. “This has nothing to do with the plan.”

“Yeah, sure.” Shaking his head with amusement, Poe rolled his eyes and flopped on the bed, catching Finn in his fall. “Anyway, isn’t today your weekly date?”

 _Date_. Even muffled by Poe’s sarcastic tone, the word sent a shiver running down her spine in the most delightful way. “Yes,” she murmured with a smile. “I mean, I should get going.”

This time, Poe’s teasing was joined by Rose and Finn’s who, despite their usual comprehensive and calm behavior, were now giggling like two idiots, following the Idiot in Chief as he rolled across the bed.

“Oh, shut up,” Rey let out with a grunt.

“Kids these days,” Poe managed to articulate as his hand grabbed his stomach. “Before you know it, they’re dating a hot guy and insulting you in your own house!”

“This is my house,” Rose reminded as she, too, tried to regain control of her shaking body.

Trying not to let them catch a glimpse of the smile forming on her lips, Rey shook her head and grabbed her bag she’d left on the floor. She was already late, and in desperate need to spend even just an hour in the calmness that was Ben’s house.

“Rey!” Finn called as she stepped outside the room. “Say shut up again?”

Realizing she couldn’t deny him what she’d refused to the others, Rey allowed a smile to creep on her lips, her own giggle highly contrasting with the words that escaped her. “Shut up,” she repeated for her friends’ greatest pleasure.

Only half an hour later (after the usual smiles of Mrs. Organa-Solo and her husband’s traditional smirk as she followed Ben to his room), she flopped down the bed while Ben considered the many DVDs in his library, searching for the one he’d show her today. Absentmindedly, Rey let her eyes wander on his back as he grabbed one of the highest and immediately bit her lips. She’s noticed he was taller and better built than the majority of the students she saw every day at school- but nothing had prepared her for how _this_ shirt perfectly hugged his figure.

“Miracle on 34th Street?”

Brought back to reality, Rey nodded a little too abruptly, making her neck crack. “Sure,” she said as Ben showed her the cover of the case. After a few minutes of struggling with the player that seemed reticent at the idea of releasing the disc that’d been stuck inside for days, he finally joined her on his bed, slightly closer than usual.

This movie wasn’t the best he’d chosen, but it was a good enough distraction for Rey not to surrender to her need to talk or look at Ben. Around what she supposed was the middle of the movie, she nonetheless allowed herself to lay down on what little room was left behind her. She was visibly not the only one feeling bolder than usual: only a few minutes later, Ben mumbled something she didn’t understand and moved her legs to his lap with an ease that only added a few more butterflies to the colony that’d apparently settled in her stomach. And just like that, her resolution to stay focused on the movie vanished, making way to the need to hear his voice.

“So… this burn book thing,” she started carefully, not sure exactly why she’d brought this subject. “Do you always use it?”

Ben’s eyes widened a little and, finally, he turned to her. “No,” he replied a little dryly, before clearing his throat and continuing. “It started when we were in third grade. It’s ridiculous, really- I can’t believe they’re still using it.”

Despite his obvious effort to keep a composed voice, Rey still noticed the way his jaw flexed at the mention of the previous night’s events. Suddenly wondering if she’d done something wrong or made him feel nervous, she straightened up and drew her legs back to her, giving Ben the space he probably needed. All those little signs, from the way he acted around her to the stolen glances they exchanged across the table at lunch- maybe she’d been reading too much into that. Maybe he was just concerned about her lack of culture, and not interested as her friends had suggested.

“Do you really have a crush on Dameron?” Ben suddenly blurted out.

It hadn’t taken much for Rey to immediately doubt her own theories. Frowning at the unexpected question, she shook her head. “Gosh, no. Of course not!” She was highly tempted to tell him she’d surprised Poe and Finn in a very embarrassing make-out session just yesterday when she’d arrived a little too early in the changing room before her PE class, but something told her that now was probably not the best time to bring it up.

“Grool,” Ben murmured, turning back to the TV.

Surprised by his reaction, Rey let out a giggle. “Grool?” Frowning, Ben looked into her direction and gave her a small smile.

“I… I meant to say cool, and then I started to say great, and-”

“And you said grool,” Rey concluded with the same smile.

They both remained silent for a moment, then burst out laughing at the absurdity of this conversation. Wiping a tear from under eyes, she first didn’t notice Ben’s hand had drew closer to hers. Her heart made a leap when she realized, then dropped to her feet when their fingers intertwined, slow and hesitant.

“I’m glad we have these moments,” Ben murmured. “I mean, without… them. Or anyone.”

He hadn’t looked up yet, his eyes fixed on their trembling hands.

“Yeah, me too,” Rey breathed out.

Just as the night before during their dance, everything around them seemed to disappear. No movie, no room, no parents downstairs. Just Ben, staring at her with the most intense gaze she’d ever seen in his eyes- which was something she didn’t know was possible. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at her lips and bit his.

“Sorry, I-”

Her heart was drumming at an insane pace, and for a moment, she wondered if it might explode. Holding her breath, she watched Ben draw closer to her, tilting his head of just a few inches to reach her level. Was it happening? What was she supposed to do? She’d never kissed anyone; she was probably the worst kisser he’d ever met. But she found out, as Ben closed the gap between them, that she couldn’t care less. She tilted her head on the opposite side and rose just a little, brushing his lips with hers with a smile that she couldn’t repress.

It wasn’t as bad as what she’d feared; it was actually rather great. Probably feeling her hesitation, Ben sealed their embrace with a longer, deeper kiss that sent a wave of shiver across her body, starting at the base of her neck where his free hand had just landed. How such a giant boy could be so gentle was beyond reason. His movements were far from the wild, almost predatory ones she’d sometimes seen from other students, wondering if they were actually kissing or fighting with their girlfriends.

She could’ve stayed like this forever, moving her mouth along Ben’s with the movie still playing in the background- but something very similar to a chuckle echoed behind her back, dragging her to pull away and turn to the source of the noise. Leaning against the doorway, Mr. Solo winked at her, a beaming smile on his face as soon as their eyes met. “Do you kids need anything?”

“No, thanks,” Rey managed to murmur despite the shame gradually coloring her whole face.

Visibly amused by the situation, the man nodded slowly, his smile widening as he walked away, not without saying one last word that colored his son’s cheeks as well.

“Grool!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Han Solo is a cool dad, fight me.  
> I hope you guys liked this chapter! It took me some time but I sure loved writing it! Huge thank you to my awesome beta reader @inmyownidiom for her help ♥


	4. Burned Coal

Rey had never had a boyfriend before, but she could tell that Ben was a very good one. Over the next weeks, the Saturdays dedicated to watching movies had turned into afternoons spent cuddling on his bed, the two of them barely paying attention to the TV and finding more interest in each other.

Even though they’d agreed to keep it a secret at school, she’d been quick to tell her friends the second she’d seen them in the confinement of Rose’s room two days later.

“You’re doing better than I thought,” Poe mused when she described how everything had happened.

“Yeah, but you can’t let Hux know about it,” Finn added with a serious look. “He would destroy you.”

Dismissing the possibility of Armitage even finding out about it, Rey shrugged. “Speaking of,” she said as she turned to Poe, “I need you to make a dyeing shampoo. I want his hair to be black. Like coal. Darker than coal. Burned coal.”

A scoff escaped Poe at her request, only confirming her theory that her idea pleased him.

After school and on the weekends, Poe could usually be found in his parents’ shop surrounded by the latest homemade beauty products. Even though she’d only been there twice, Rey vividly remembered the aggressive smell of various soaps mixed with incense, and her head almost started spinning.

“Now that’s something interesting!” Poe exclaimed with a bright smile. “What happened?”

Trying hard to ignore the guilt already building up in her stomach, Rey gave him a shrug. “Turns out he’s not behaving as a friend should. At least not with-”

“Ben. We get it.”

Judging by Rose and Finn’s amused faces and the clock hung above the door, she’d been talking about her boyfriend for twenty minutes- and God, it still felt weird calling him her boyfriend. Was she supposed to give him a nickname? Just as she was about to ask, Poe let out a sigh and flopped onto the nearest chair.

“I’ll get your damn shampoo, but you better not get pregnant by the end the year.” Not giving her time to process the warning and what it implied, he raised a finger, a determined look in his eyes. “We’ve got to crack Armitage Hux. We crack him, and we crack years of Thirsties reign.”

“Say crack again.” Rose said behind him.

“Crack.”

This time, Rey joined her friends as the three of them erupted into a fit of giggles. Shaking his head, Poe rolled his eyes and sighed again.

“Come to the shop tomorrow. But you can’t tell your boyfriend.”

 

**\- - -**

 

“I can’t believe you did that,” Rose giggled as they sat in English class a week later.

Neither could Rey: blinded by the innocent voice she’d used and his own pride, Hux had been quick to accept her cursed present. Of course, he  wasn’t stupid and had asked the next day why his hair had suddenly turned so dark, to which Rey had replied with such a big lie she was still surprised he’d believed her: _“It’s part of the moisturizing process. It’s an ancient root that slightly dyes your hair, but it’ll disappear in a few days,”_ she’d explained during lunch, careful not to meet Ben’s eyes when she’d felt them on her.  Of course, it didn’t- and by the end of the week, the coppery color of his hair was nothing more than an old memory.

 

 “I know,” Rey mumbled as she placed her notebook on the desk. Even though her friends all seemed pleased with her idea, she was now feeling guilty whenever she looked at Armitage. She may have decided that she hated him, but something in her head irritatingly similar to her father’s voice kept reminding her of the importance of kindness and respect; what she’d done was neither respectful nor kind in any way.

The guilt only increased as Mrs. Kanata stepped into the class weighed down with books piled up in her arms and a coffee threatening to fall from her hands with every step she took.

“Good morning!” The woman chanted as she sat behind the desk.

The entire classroom replied with enthusiasm, except Rey, who felt a lump settling in her throat. Of all her teachers, Mrs. Kanata had been the most understanding since her arrival, taking time to explain everything without once showing irritation or amusement. She’d truly been an amazing ally during those first months. Suddenly, the words she’d written a few days ago came back to Rey along with shame and regret. She was only trying to follow the plan but… hearing her friends laugh at what she’d said had been oddly satisfying.

 _Fake_ , she reminded herself. _Fake friends_. Well, she didn’t mind Phasma, and Ben was now more than a friend but… What exactly was Hux?

 “Alright class, let’s get star-”

A jingle cut her mid-sentence. Within seconds, all the students were staring at the small screen overhanging the board where their principal’s face appeared, visibly nervous.

“Good morning everyone,” Mr. Skywalker grumbled from his desk. Half-hidden behind his glasses, his eyes lingered on a small piece of paper he was holding and he cleared his throat. “I was told today is the day we finally know the names of our Spring Fling Kings and Queens.”

“I’m starting to regret Hamlet,” someone whispered in the back.

If Mr. Skywalker’s face was any indication, he, too, was regretting Hamlet. After another sigh, the principle looked down on his notes and spoke again. “The nominees are, as follow: Armitage Hux and Gwen Phasma, Dopheld Mitaka and Kaydel Connix, and Ben Solo and Rey Andor.”

Rey didn’t hear the end of the announcement, too focused on how her heart had mysteriously disappeared from her chest. Far too aware of the looks on her, she turned to Rose who was already quickly typing something on her phone. “Did you know about this?”

“I didn’t-” A frown creased her brow and she glanced at her, a small smile on hers lips. “Poe said… I thought he was joking.”

 _Poe. Of course_. Repressing a sigh, Rey closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as she remembered her friend’s role in the student council. Being best friends with the class president apparently had its perks. “I’ll kill him.”

“I’d suggest you do it before lunch,” Rose whispered as Mrs. Kanata cleared her throat. “Finn wouldn’t appreciate you killing his boyfriend.”

Feeling their teacher’s eyes on them, Rey nodded briefly then drifted her attention to the book she’d just opened, gathering all her strength to focus on the lesson for the remaining forty minutes. When finally the bell rang, she stormed out of the classroom and stomped to the sciences corridor where she found Poe laughing rather loudly with one of his Senior friends- Snaps, or something like that. Doing her best not to look at Ben, since Phasma and Hux weren’t far behind, she elbowed her way toward Poe, who greeted her with open arms and a radiant smile.

“Rey, babe! How’s our new Spring Fling Queen?”

Feeling a blush creeping on her cheeks, Rey grabbed his arm and dragged him away from his classmates, her voice fast and low. “Why on Earth would you-”

“Hey, easy!” Poe protested, idly removing himself from her grasp. Had it not been for Finn’s love for the damn jacket, she would’ve ripped it into pieces. “Hux is always King,” he explained in the same hushed voice she’d adopted. “You have to steal his place.”

It wasn’t a bad idea. Considering her initial goal, it was actually a rather good one.

Still, this wasn’t something she’d agreed on. “No one’s ever gonna vote for us,” she started cautiously. “Nobody knows we’re together.”

Well, maybe this was about to change, now. Instinctively, her eyes lingered on Ben, who was still staring at her. Catching her gaze, he gave her an inquiring look, to which she replied with a shrug.

“We’ll talk later,” she mumbled as Ben left his own friends and started walking towards them.

Luckily, Poe seemed to catch the nervousness in her voice and gave her a nod before disappearing in the crowd. Judging by the frown creasing Ben’s brow, he’d heard the announcement- and if the suspicious looks of Hux and Phasma were any indication, their secret was out.

“Hey, did you…”

“No,” she hastened to murmur. “Sorry, it’s- my friend Poe.”

“Oh.”

There it was: the disappointed tone she’d feared. She hadn’t been able to keep their secret for more than two months, all this because of a stupid plan she’d agreed to follow for the sole purpose of… _Of what, exactly?_ Having friends? As fun as her little reunions with Poe, Rose and Finn had been, she’d surprised herself wishing they would sometimes do something else. Hux was starting to take a huge place in her life for someone she didn’t appreciate that much- but then again, the little voice reminded her of something she’d tried to ignore for a long time: this wasn’t like her.

Swallowing with difficulty, Rey bit the inside of her cheeks and let her eyes drop to her feet. Two months. She hadn’t expected this to end so quickly.

She hadn’t even expected it to end.

“Sorry… I’ll ask him to cancel us.”

“Or we could stay in the run.”

Just as fast as they’d appeared, her worries vanished, making place for a joy she couldn’t explain. She didn’t care about a Spring Fling Queen title; still, her heart made a loop inside her chest. Repressing a sigh of relief, she looked up with an incredulous smile on her lips, picking each of her words carefully. “I’m… not sure Hux would appreciate that.”

“I don’t care what Hux thinks.”

Mirroring her expression, Ben gave her a timid smile and closed the gap between them. Instinctively, Rey craned her neck and closed her eyes as his lips captured hers, soft and gentle. Their hands immediately found each other, fingers lacing as they always did when they kissed; except this time, they weren’t in the privacy of his room. This time, an entire crowd of students was watching them. Rey couldn’t care less.

For a brief second, everything disappeared –the stress of the nomination, Poe, Hux- leaving her alone with Ben and the soothing sensation of his mouth moving with hers. Her heartbeat hastened at the realization of what was happening. _This was official. He had made it official_. Somewhere behind them, a voice she recognized as Poe’s said something she didn’t understand, eliciting a few giggles from the crowd. It must’ve been funny, though, because Ben was now smiling through the kiss.

“See you tonight?” he murmured as he pulled away slowly.

Still drunk on his touch, it took Rey a few seconds to process his question, and a few more to find her voice again. “Tonight?”

“Back to the Future.”

 _Of course._ Smiling apologetically, she gave him a firm nod. “Yeah, see you tonight.”

Just as she thought about stealing another kiss, the bell rang above her head, beckoning the two of them to get back to their respective classes. Begrudgingly, she let go of his hand and watched him go back to the sciences corridor under his friends’ surprised gazes. Not far away, Poe gave her a wink and a thumbs-up before disappearing inside the classroom.

 

\- - -

 

Thankfully, the rest of the day wasn’t as stressful as Rey had thought. With a little help from Ben’s texts and Finn’s eyes, she managed to avoid Hux during lunch and, instead, eat her cheese fries in the company of her real friends. After months spent away from them, sharing her lunch break with Rose, Finn and Poe felt both surreal and natural. No rules, no fears: just the four of them having a good time, away from the elitist table she hadn’t dared to look at.

When the bell finally rang at four, Rey burst outside the class to the corridor, walking to the exit with haste. Even though students weren’t allowed to run inside, she felt like she could easily have beaten a jaguar. Her heart was drumming fast inside her chest, its beats only hastening when she joined Ben in the parking lot and in his father’s car, and later as she followed him inside his house.

Once the movie started, she let out a sigh of relief. Everything felt so much simpler when away from school, and even more with Ben’s arms around her. Hadn’t it been for his phone constantly buzzing against the nightstand, the evening would’ve been similar to the ones they usually spent together. Unable to fight her curiosity, Rey glanced at the screen; just as she’d expected, the name of her worst enemy appeared. Just like the five previous times, Ben ignored it, his eyes focused on the screen while his fingers kept gently stroking her hair.

“Hey,” Rey murmured the second a scene came on that seemed unimportant enough to interrupt their silence. “There’s something I should tell you.”

An inquiring ‘ _hm’_ vibrated against the back of her neck, sending a wave of shivers over her entire body. God, staying focused would be more difficult than she’d thought. “When you said you didn’t care about Hux’s reaction… did you mean it?”

Another humming caressed her skin, this time followed by Ben’s voice. “Of course.”

“But you two are friends, right?”

The answer wasn’t as fast to come this time, only confirming her suspicions. “I guess we used to be,” Ben stated cautiously. “Well, I guess we still are.”

“But he’s…” The word died on her lips, repressed by her teeth seizing her lower lip.  This wasn’t a conversation she’d planned, but… after Ben’s gesture this very morning, she couldn’t help feeling even more guilty about her secret: the _other_ secret, the one he didn’t know about.

But was it really a secret? She’d never denied her friendship with Poe, and her hatred toward Armitage only grew bigger each day. She wasn’t exactly lying- more like omitting some details. Still, something about it felt wrong. And wrong wasn’t something she wanted to feel when with Ben.

As if sensing the seriousness behind her voice, Ben let go of her hair and shifted on his bed, leaving her with a sensation of loss where her back had been covered by his chest. “Well, I can’t deny that I love the temporary dye your shampoo gave him.”

Even though his words had probably been meant to make her laugh, they only tightened the knot settling around her stomach.

“Yeah, about that… It may be permanent.”

Time seemed to stop for a moment, and then accelerate as various emotions crossed Ben’s face. Somewhere between amusement and shock, his eyes widened and his mouth opened a few times before he finally managed to speak again. “You did what now?”

“I…” Once again, the word died on Rey’s lips. Urged by Ben’s inquiring look on her, she took a deep breath and explained everything.

She started speaking slowly. Poe’s idea, the guilt, the anger: everything flew from her tongue with more ease as she articulated the truth about the past months. When she was done, silence fell between them, wrapping the entire room with a tension that spurred her last words. “Please, say something…”

As if dragged back from a daydream, Ben blinked twice and took a deep breath, quirking an eyebrow as his eyes lingered on her. “Am I… part of the plan?”

“Of course not,” Rey murmured shamefully. “You weren’t supposed to happen.” As if to emphasize her statement, she shook her head and risked a movement in his direction. “I’m sorry, it was stup-”

“Unexpected,” Ben whispered with disbelief. Another deep breath heaved his chest and he closed his eyes. “You should’ve told me.”

“I know, I just… I didn’t…” Swallowing with difficulty, Rey waited for his eyes to open again. “I didn’t want you to be even more… ashamed.”

Once again, silence fell on the room; except this time, Ben was the one to draw closer to her. “Why would I be ashamed?”

“Well, I’m… not exactly like you. I’m just…” Another lump settled in her throat; but this time, Armitage Hux had nothing to do with it. “I’m…  no one. . I don’t know anything about real life, I keep saying stupid things and I’m…”

Flashbacks from her first day at school came rushing back: the teachers, the cafeteria, Poe’s warnings. “I’m not entirely stupid, I can see I’ll never be as cool as everyone else. I’m trying but… in the end, I’m nothing.”

A brief silence followed her statement, during which she realized that tears were gathering on her eyelashes.

“I think you know more about real life than I do,” Ben said as his arm wrapped around her shoulder. “And as far as I’m concerned” -his free hand took hers and their fingers laced- “you’re far from nothing.”

All of a sudden, tears rolled down her face. There they were: the tears she hadn’t allowed to flow since her arrival. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wanted to cry –there’d been so much since the beginning of the year- but she remembered the last time she had as if it were today. Packing the last sixteen years of her life in a small bag had felt surreal, but watching her homeland visibly shrink behind a plane’s window had only brought tears and fears. Even though she loved her new friends, it felt like a part of her would always love Africa; the exact same part that now mourned the simplicity of her old life.

“I just miss everything,” she murmured; and just as the tears began to fall, her face met the soft fabric of Ben’s shirt as he pulled her in for a very much needed hug.

Calmly, his fingers made their way to her hair and stroke gently.

They stayed like this for a few more minutes- or hours, maybe- before Ben finally spoke again, his voice muffled in her hair. “You want to stay here tonight?”

Shaken by a shiver as she pulled away, Rey ran her sleeve over her cheeks with a sniff. When her eyes found Ben’s, she registered what he’d just said and frowned. “Your parents-”

“They left yesterday,” Ben said hastily. “They’re away for the week.”

“Oh.”

She took a moment to dry her face as much as her sleeve could handle, giving him just enough time to add: “Actually- you could even stay for a few days. I you want to.”

A few days. _A few days in an empty house with Ben_. Oblivious of her puffy eyes, Rey gave him a timid smile and shrugged as the words crossed her lips in a whisper. “I’ll have to ask my parents.”

 

\- - -

 

Technically, Rey’d asked her parents. She’d just omitted the detail of her friend’s identity, and hadn’t contradicted them when Rose’s name had been brought up. She didn’t really know why she’d lied: her parents had never prevented her from seeing a friend, but Ben wasn’t exactly a friend.

In the space of seven days, she’d discovered many new things: being left without supervision, the pleasure of ordering pizza on a weeknight, and the soothing feeling that came with falling asleep next to Ben. Day after day, she realized how natural things felt around him. Even though she’d never been extremely self-conscious about her body, she’d surprised herself with how little clothing she was comfortable wearing in bed. Sure, the nights were still cold, but his body heat always made up for it.

“So! Last night,” she said as she collapsed on the bed. “What did you chose?”

Barely moving from the impact, Ben gave her a brief smile then returned his attention to the remote. “Footloose.”

When his eyes drifted back to the screen, Rey’s lingered on his fingers idly dancing on the buttons as he navigated through the DVD’s menu. The temperature of this room felt insanely high.

Gradually, their attention shifted away from the movie as they went through what was now their usual routine. First, they laced their fingers together, then their legs; and soon enough, Rey’s hand was timidly grazing Ben’s skin under his T-shirt. A shiver ran through her body when the hand stroking her hair moved to her neck, guiding her head away from his chest to ask for a kiss.

“I’m gonna miss sleeping with you,” Ben murmured against her lips.

She would miss it too: his warmth, the feeling of his arms around her, or even simply brushing her teeth next to him.

“It was grool,” she agreed with a grin.

A giggle interrupted Ben in his attempt to kiss her again, causing them both to fall in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Biting her lips with amusement, Rey took this as an opportunity to straighten up. She could feel his eyes on her as she sat next to him, but something else caught her attention as she turned back to him. Hesitancy; fear, maybe. Probably realizing it, Ben cleared his throat and straightened up as well. “I- I’d never been with anyone like this before.”

“Me neither.”

A heavy silence fell between them, interrupted some time to time by the characters they’d abandoned long ago. Rey could tell from the way his brow was creased that he had more to say. She moved a little closer as Ben opened his mouth again, holding her breath.

“I…”

“Yes?”

Rey bit her lips again when she realized she’d interrupted him. Still hesitant, Ben shook his head with a smile. “No, this is stupid.”

His fingers were drumming against the blanket, his teeth seizing his lower lip. Careful not to interrupt him again, she stopped the drumming with a hand on his and moved closer, dropping a kiss in the corner of his mouth.

“Stupid like what?”

“Nothing-”

The kissed deepened, firmer and hungrier.

“Like what, Ben?”

A sigh left him and he pulled away just enough to murmur the words against her lips. “I think I love you.”

Someone was singing in the movie, but she couldn’t care less. An uncontrollable smile had crossed her lips, her heart beating so fast she didn’t know how she managed to hear what he said next.

“And I… I mean, we don’t have to, but…I’d like to show you how… much-”

“I’d love to.”

She’d interrupted him again; but from the smile he gave her, he didn’t mind at all. Before she could speak again, his lips caught hers again; and even though they’d kissed a lot lately, this one felt _different_. It was nothing like the chaste kisses exchanged in the morning or the more passionate ones that sometimes made their way in the dark. This one was new and full of meaning.

Once again, the room felt insanely hot, and Rey wondered if Ben was as excited as she was.

“Hey,” Rey murmured as she pulled away for air. 

“Hm?”

“I think I might love you too.”

Their eyes met, then their lips, and Rey could swear she heard their hearts beating unison when they both fell on the mattress, Ben above her as her legs made way for him. This was probably the longest kiss they’d shared- and the messiest. Just as she gasped for air again, she felt Ben  fumbling with the ribbon ornamenting her sleeping pants and let out a chuckle. A _loud_ chuckle, according to Ben’s expression: still trying to undo the bow, he gave her an inquiring look that only made her laugh more.

“It’s decorative.”

“Decora..?” Still frowning, he glanced at the ribbon once again and rolled his eyes. “That’s absurd.”

“You’re absurd.”

A symphony of giggles echoed across the room, soon interrupted by kisses and gasps as Ben finally abandoned the bow, to Rey’s great pleasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay <3

**Author's Note:**

> A HUGE thank you to inmyownidiom for her amazing help as beta-reader, to sciosophia for her suggestions and enthusiasm and to the Plaidam house!


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